[Action/Video]

[othersdie]

[Justin, unaffected by the cold induced by sitting near the fountain that the City had seen fit to drop him into during winter, finally tires of waiting for what he’s convinced what must be a trick of the mind to dissipate and resolve itself into the nothingness of death. For a lack of any other distractions, he fumbles with the device he had found in his pocket earlier.

He doesn’t fully understand why he would bother hallucinating what resembles a camcorder. The brain is truly a strange and unfathomable thing.]

Am I dead yet?

[It’s a ridiculous question. He still exists enough to imagine things; the answer is clearly no.]

If not--if not, I hope this doesn't last long.

Comments

[had_not_lived]

[Maybe if Justin hadn't been away for so long, Neil might think on this long enough to realize he probably isn't up for company, since Justin's never been the most sociable of his friends. But Neil is Neil; it's kind of a wonder he didn't fly out the door immediately on seeing the post.]

All right. If you wait there, I'll come... We can go get a cup of tea or something. Okay?



[ooc; VEDAWOULDYOULIKETOACTION? 8)]

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

[This proposition requires some thought. On one hand... talking. One the other hand? Sitting in the snow, possibly for a long time.

Well.]

Okay.



[ooc: I WOULD LOVE IT.]

[had_not_lived]

[He tucks an extra coat under his arm before heading out, not that it's likely to be necessary if he's right about Justin being dead again. Still it seems like an appropriate gesture, and it doesn't take him too long to make his way to the fountain, hurrying through the snowy streets.

He smiles when he gets there, a little uncertain, exceedingly pleased to see an old friend but (for once, incredibly,) conscious that Justin's not likely to be comfortable with too much familiarity.]

Hey.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

[Justin checks the device, glances at Neil, affirms his identity, and stands. He feels he should do something--smile back, maybe, or... something else that people do when they come across someone they know.

He goes for the smile. It looks more like a grimace; to be fair, though, it's not an expression that gets a lot of use.]

Hey. Neil.

[He extends his hand for a handshake--that's what people do--but retracts it, thinking better of it. Neil says he was his friend. That doesn't mean much; Justin's last friend was more than willing to watch him shoot himself.]

[had_not_lived]

[With anyone else it might be unsettling. If Justin thinks he's dead, though, Neil can guess where he was before this... so, some awkwardness is to be expected.]

It's good to see you. [He smiles tightly, offers the coat he's holding.] I wasn't sure if you'd need this, but...

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

I wish I could say the same.

[The proffered coat gets the same inspection as Neil. Justin takes it gingerly. He's not cold, but there's snow on the ground. Coats should be worn when there's snow, and it would be rude to decline.]

Thank you. I'll return it when--if...

[Damn it.]

Thank you, Neil.

[had_not_lived]

[He waves the uncertainty aside.]

Don't worry about it. So. [He glances around them, not quite sure what to say.] Where would you like to go? I mean-- there are cafes, restaurants, or we could go to the Library or something... Or just walk, there's always Xanadu...

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

[He shrugs the coat on, increasingly certain that Neil knew him.]

Xanadu?

[That's worth a smile.]

Coleridge's Xanadu?

[had_not_lived]

[And Neil smiles back.]

It's what the park is called. It's not badly named, though.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

I'd like to go there.

[So much so that, for the first time since he's been here, Justin appears somewhat animated and engaged.]

...If it's not out of your way.

[had_not_lived]

[It's a bit more of a surprise than it should be.]

No, it's fine, of course-- [He gestures towards a wide side-street heading that direction.] Anything you'd like.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

[Justin retreats back into suspicion, eying Neil as if trying to pick him apart to read his true intentions.]

Anything?

[If it sounds too good to be true, it's almost inevitably too good to be true.]

What do you want?

[had_not_lived]

[It catches him off guard, and he looks every inch as startled as he feels.]

Nothing. I mean-- I want to help, to make this easier to get used to. That's all. I just meant, it doesn't much matter where we go.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

Oh.

[He doesn't know what to make of that. Given Neil's reaction, he almost certainly means what he says; what that means, however, isn't as easy to discern. Isn't friendship a trade-off? Company for help studying, action for thought, esteem for obedience?

Curious.]

Why do you want to help? Just... because?

[had_not_lived]

Because... we're friends.

[He knows enough to know Justin's view on that topic is likely to be pretty skewed, but it's all he can offer.]

I don't know a better way to explain.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

[He nods slowly. Neil's motivation might have to remain a mystery for now because, at the moment, Justin sort of likes the idea of friendship being easy.

He shoves his hand into the coat's pockets and shuffles towards Xanadu.]

...Thank you.

[had_not_lived]

You're welcome.

[He's trying, really trying, not to be too overwhelming. It just goes against his nature a bit. Neil starts walking, too.]

So, what would you like to know?

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Everything?

[No, maybe not.]

Did you know--before, when you knew me... how much did you know?

[had_not_lived]

You told me what you did, at home. Why you were-- why you died.

[He glances away. It's not that he holds it against Justin, just, this is an uncomfortable conversation.]

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

[Justin stares a hole in the side of Neil's head. He knows. He knows and he's talking to him when, by rights, he should be at least as disgusted with him as Justin is with himself. Surprise wins out over any other emotions--fear, tentative hope, confusion, disbelief.]

I told you about the--about Olivia? ...Why are you still talking to me?

[Justin isn't offended, just perplexed.]

[had_not_lived]

It's-- well, it had been a long time. You worked for the police, here. I can't say you put it behind you--

[And he hesitates a bit, because of course Justin couldn't put it behind him, it's not like Neil is all right with it, exactly.]

--but... I think... I believe, the City is a second chance for some of us.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

[He shakes his head, smiling humorlessly.]

I wouldn't work for the police--not in any world. They're corrupt, blind...

[solemnly] There are no second chances. We have one life, and what we do with that life... we have to live with the consequences.

[had_not_lived]

I don't know if anyone you used to work with is still here, anyway.

[He sighs, softly.]

It's a second chance if you take it. Not everyone does. [After a pause, he looks at Justin, and then away again.] We used to talk about that a lot, too.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

[For a moment, it does feel like this is a conversation he has had before.]

Did we reach any conclusions?

[Something about Neil's expression makes Justin reluctant to linger on the topic.]

Never mind. Should... is there anything I should know about you?

[had_not_lived]

I hardly know where to start.

[He takes and looses a deep breath, considering. Funny, how hard it is to tell Justin things that by all rights he already has.]

I've lived in the City for... two and a half years? A little more-- almost three. My best friend from home is here; we live together. I think your world and mine are more or less alike, but it was 1959, for us.

[A long pause. The most important things are the ones he doesn't want to touch upon, of course.] I'm-- I ought to be-- dead. [Again he looks away.] Suicide.