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[othersdie]

Thank you for the warm reception.  However poorly I articulated it, I appreciated the offers of assistance.

I have a question, but I'm not sure if there's an answer.  Regardless: what's the purpose of the graveyard?  The carousel, the ticking, the deities--all of that makes sense (or as much sense as anything else), but why is there a place to bury people if no one stays dead here?  Is it just a prop?  It feels significant, although feelings can't be relied on.

This is a strange place--strange in its own way, stranger when I think about it.  I'd call it all a dream if I wasn't convinced that I'm awake.  Every time I think I'm close to making sense of something, it slips away.

That's not important.  Thank you, again, for being so welcoming.


[Filtered to Neil and Todd // Hackable]

I've read all of the guides (most of them appear to be outdated) and as much as I could find about filters.  It's unnecessary to use one, I suppose, since I can just talk to you, but some things are more comfortably put in writing.

First and most importantly, thank you.  I don't fully understand why you trust me enough to let me into your apartment when you know about what I've done and you realize that I'm not the same person you knew.  Whether I should blame kindness or poor judgment, thank you. 

Second--and I don't know if I should tell either of you this, but something wholly inexplicable tells me that I can trust you--I've been having odd experiences.  Do you know what it's like to try to remember a dream you've just woken up from?  It's like that, and sometimes I think I'm on the verge of something... and then it gets away.  Is this a normal phenomenon here?

Third, I'd like to repeat what I typed first.  I haven't done anything to earn trust, kindness, or friendship--not that I remember.  I hope that you're both usually more cautious.

Comments

[deadly_legacy]

I think so too. Maybe it is a sort of memorial then. Or maybe the City has another purpose for it. I only know how I think of it.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

Ultimately, only what you think about the things around you matters.

[deadly_legacy]

How do you think of it?

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure. Maybe as a taunt--a reminder that death isn't an escape here.

[deadly_legacy]

That isn't a very comforting thought.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

Not really. I like your interpretation better.

[deadly_legacy]

[She smiles softly at him.] You're free to borrow it, Justin.

I don't mind.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

[He's rendered speechless for a moment. A long moment. A long moment in which his grasp of the English language deteriorates greatly.]

I--thank you. It's a... it's not so grim.

[deadly_legacy]

[This is a very long moment! She started to think maybe she'd said something wrong or that she should add something.]

I think it helps to look at things in a way that's not so grim if you can. Some things are difficult enough on their own without any help from us. [She speaks with experience, not that all her guilt or self-punishing is gone.]

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

[Words. Thinking. He's sure these are things he can do, even if Euphie is nice and beautiful and smiling and talking to him.]

The City's that way, isn't it? Difficult enough. Although it hasn't seemed bad here, aside from the... the obvious. Being lorded over by deities, the possibility of curses, the thought of being trapped here forever...

[deadly_legacy]

[It's not what she was thinking of, but she nods.] Some of the curses can be very difficult. Some are just odd or a little embarrassing.

Being here doesn't have to feel like a trap. It can feel like home.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

How long were you here before it started to feel like home?

[deadly_legacy]

In some ways it was only my second day because Lelouch was here with me then.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

Lelouch--your brother? [He was paying attention to that conversation, see?]

I think I'd rather have everyone I knew in San Benito stay out of the City.

[deadly_legacy]

Yes. One of my older brothers. [She notices.]

Then you're less selfish than I am. [Still smiling.]

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

One of? Do you have a large family?

[That earns a raised eyebrow.] I doubt it. I have very selfish reasons, I promise.

[deadly_legacy]

It might be an understatement to only call it large.

[Her eyes glimmer a bit at that, but then his next comment has her giving him a more thoughtful look. There's a touch of concern when she speaks.] Are you estranged from them?

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

What would you call it?

[That's an exceedingly polite way to put it. He does his best to sound wholly unconcerned about the topic.] Or they're estranged from me. I haven't quite figured it out.

[deadly_legacy]

I'm sorry to hear that, but...maybe this place can be a second chance for you then?

My father has 108 wives, so I have a considerable number of siblings.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

Someone told me--before I came here--that there aren't second chances... that we can't escape who we are or what we've done in the past.

One hundred... [processing] How did he manage that?

[deadly_legacy]

Maybe there is no way to start over completely, but I think you can change the direction of your life and do your best to make amends for things you regret.

I think...other people are usually more forgiving of us than we are of ourselves. [Has something of a far away look as she says this no matter what lies the default icon tells you.]

Ah... I'm not certain I could say. I'm sure I couldn't do the same.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

You're probably right. It's not like we're incapable of altering our thoughts or destined to repeat past actions.

Still, though, there are some things that can't be forgiven. [Euphie seems to be talking from personal experience, but surely she didn't do anything too terrible.]

From what I've seen, most people can only handle one significant other, if that.

[deadly_legacy]

Anything can be forgiven if we choose to forgive it. [She's quiet another moment before looking back into his eyes.]

If that? [She smiles softly, glad to think of something else.] Are they so much work?

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

We're not always the only ones who need to forgive ourselves.

[Purple eyes. Pink hair. He thinks that he should be unsettled by the combination, but that's definitely not happening. But no, he's not going to ogle and act stupid because Lisa proved that girls are not impressed by that sort of thing. Best not to make eye contact.]

They must be. Only fifty-two percent of couples who marry stay together for as long as fifteen years; the average length of a relationship is between six and seven years. ...But those are the statistics from where I'm from. They must be different for you, or at least for your father.

[deadly_legacy]

No, but somethings... Maybe it's not that you can't have forgiveness for it's that you can't ask it. [She couldn't imagine asking those families to forgive her. Not for that, but it didn't mean she couldn't go on too.]

Mm...you must retain details well. I couldn't say exactly how it is where I'm from exactly. It is largely political in my family.