[Action/Video]

[othersdie]

[Justin, unaffected by the cold induced by sitting near the fountain that the City had seen fit to drop him into during winter, finally tires of waiting for what he’s convinced what must be a trick of the mind to dissipate and resolve itself into the nothingness of death. For a lack of any other distractions, he fumbles with the device he had found in his pocket earlier.

He doesn’t fully understand why he would bother hallucinating what resembles a camcorder. The brain is truly a strange and unfathomable thing.]

Am I dead yet?

[It’s a ridiculous question. He still exists enough to imagine things; the answer is clearly no.]

If not--if not, I hope this doesn't last long.

Comments

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

Have you made anything of it?

[mumbled_truth]

Yeah. I have.

[It's odd - even though he rationally knows he's essentially a stranger to Justin, he still feels like Justin should just know that. Of course, he doesn't feel comfortable going into details with almost anyone.]

I've been here for almost three years now. I have friends, a job... a lot that wasn't possible back home. As far as I'm concerned, this is my home.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

[There is a very long pause.]

Would you leave, given the chance?

[mumbled_truth]

No.

[No hesitation there. He didn't even need to think about it.]

My best friend is here. He's... not, at home. Not anymore.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

Oh. That's... understandable.

[Not really. Kind of. Maybe.]

I suppose the City is a second chance for you, too.

[mumbled_truth]

Yeah. For both of us - for a lot of people, really, and in spite of everything that's supposed to be impossible, you can have a life here.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

That's not the first time I've heard that today. This is a city of optimists.

[mumbled_truth]

Well... not entirely. I actually feel like I'm in the minority, most of the time.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

Then the pessimists must not be talkative today.

Todd. How well did you know me?

[mumbled_truth]

You were one of the first people I got to know here - you were definitely one of my closest friends.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

Then you know about what I've done? [This is important.] It doesn't upset you?

[mumbled_truth]

Of course it does. I mean... I don't really see how it couldn't, but--

But you were here for a long time, and-- well, you'd done a lot here. I don't want to say that it made up for it, exactly, because that would be sort of... well, putting a value on life I'm not really comfortable doing, but...

You took your second chance and made something of it.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

You're talking a different me. I haven't done anything here. I don't know what to make of a second chance; I don't know if there are second chances.

[somewhat anxiously] Everyone who knew me before is talking about someone else.

[mumbled_truth]

Well, you have a second chance now, whether or not you believe in it. And... if you did it once, there's no reason you can't do something with it now. I know you're not the you that I knew, but you're still you.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

[This requires contemplative silence. It doesn't occur to Justin to, say, turn off his recorder while thinking.]

Is that enough?

What if I don't want to be at all?

[mumbled_truth]

[That gives Todd pause, too - not quite as long, but a bit. He speaks softly - even for him - and carefully. Never pushing.]

Things can be different here. Maybe... after a while, you won't feel that way anymore.

[othersdie.livejournal.com]

Maybe.

[He doesn't believe it for a second, but Todd sounds sincere--too sincere to argue with.]

Thank you, Todd.